


Robot

by casbuddy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: (or so he thinks hint hint), Affectionate Dean, Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Fluff, M/M, Possessive Dean, Unrequited Love, also autistic cas?, idk i feel like he might be on the spectrum in this one give me your thoughts people, the side characters are very much SIDE characters so bare that in mind, underage sex (they're both seventeen)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:27:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/casbuddy/pseuds/casbuddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Best friends since they were literally one day old, Dean and Cas were total opposites. Castiel was quiet, preferred solitude, and didn’t like it when people fawned over him. Dean was loud, expressive, and affectionate. Oh, and he was also totally in love with Castiel, who most definitely didn’t want him back.<br/>In short, Dean was screwed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dreaming Woes

**Author's Note:**

> This was a commission for [rosearade.](rosearade.tumblr.com)  
> Updated every Saturday.

“Hey,” Jo plonked herself opposite Dean at the cafeteria table; Victor sitting right next to her, “Where’s Cas? And everyone else?” she asked, frowning. Trust Jo to get right to the point, even with her face stuffed full with food.

Dean shrugged, leaning back against the wall; their go to table at school was always the one tucked into the corner so they could do what they liked without prying eyes, “I don’t know. He just had a free period so he’s probably hiding from everyone in a corner somewhere,” he explained. That was very much what Cas did most of the time; if anything, he preferred to be in his own company. One time, Dean remembered, Castiel had turned to him and asked with a scrunched up nose as to why anyone would _want_ to go to a party or a group dinner. He’d wondered why people would choose to do that without being forced (which Castiel had often been when he was a young child, dragged along to family parties that he didn’t want to go to) instead of being cooped up in a cosy bedroom with a good book.

“Yeah,” Victor grinned, a sure sign that he was about to say something to tease Dean, “But he’s usually got you hiding there with him.”

“Whatever,” Dean mumbled around a french fry, knowing that Victor was right. He didn’t have it in him to play along with the teasing though, especially when it came to Castiel. Normally, he would roll his eyes and sometimes even make fun of himself. But not today. He really wasn’t in the mood.

“And the rest of them,” Dean continued, waving his hand around dismissively, “I don’t know. They’re probably sorting shit out; I know Charlie is using her lunch to hound Principle Hockney into letting her start up nerd club again,” he announced, knowing that that would be a disaster. Charlie’s peppy enthusiasm for nerd club would only send the principal into a daze of confusion and then Charlie would end up getting into trouble somehow. Even though Dean loved it, not everyone was a fan of Charlie’s bouncy attitude.

“After what happened last semester?” Jo snorted, “That’s doubtful.”

Dean winced in memory, pausing for a moment before he carried on talking, “Ash has probably already gotten into trouble and is being yelled at,” he pointed out, because while Ash never _tried_ to do anything wrong, he somehow managed to get himself into those situations daily. He just never thought about what he said before he said it, nor what he did. He was reckless in his actions and always ended up saying something that set someone off, but that was kind of what Dean and his friends liked about Ash. He didn’t give a shit.

“Likely,” Victor hummed.

“And Benny’s-“ Dean’s gaze turned to recognition when he saw one of his best friends heading their way, “Right there,” he nodded towards Benny’s broad frame; there were many a time that onlookers had thought that Benny looked intimidating, perhaps even frightening. Inside though, he was just a giant teddy bear. Not that he would ever admit that.

“Hey,” Benny drawled, sitting to the left of Dean.

“Aw,” Jo reached over to poke Benny in the arm, “You look sad. Still missing Andrea?”

“What do you think?” Benny sighed, looking very much downtrodden.

Benny had moved states a year ago. Being the new kid at school was never easy, but he’d easily slotted into Dean’s group of friends; there had been something about him that had just fitted with the rest of them. Maybe it was because none of them quite fit with everyone else. It wasn’t like they were disliked by anyone, not truly, but no one would go out of their way to be their friend either. None of them were what was considered normal or cool in school; Dean saw the looks some people gave him when he hugged his friends to say hello, how people would make him very self-aware of his affectionate nature that he’d learnt from his mother. People thought Ash was weird because of his hair cut and uncaring attitude. Charlie, like Dean, was a giant ass nerd and people didn’t always like that. Victor wasn’t as strange as the rest of them, but he had a tendency to call people out on their bullshit a lot. Jo was loud and had the best comebacks that people didn’t appreciate at times. And Cas? Well, Cas wasn’t like most people. And people tended to disapprove of differences amongst the norm.

“At least skype is a thing now,” Jo prodded him, trying to be helpful.

“I guess,” Benny sighed dramatically; he wasn’t one to feel sorry for himself but he was when it came to Andrea, his long term girlfriend, who he’d had no choice but to leave back in his old town. Even with miles between them, they had somehow made it work. They talked at least once a day and when there was a chance to, Benny would go over to visit her and vice versa. Because a lot of Benny’s family was still back home, he and his parents had gone back there over the summer. Which had meant that Benny had been spoiled with Andrea’s presence every day. That was quite a difference to the normal school week, where it was nothing but electronic communication rather than a true face to face interaction.

Now that Benny was there and complaining about missing Andrea, Dean hoped the spotlight would shine somewhere other than him so he could wallow in silence whilst everyone else chatted. Dean just wanted some peace and quiet so he could mull over what was going on in his head; let the rest of them talk about random shit whilst he ran the dream over and over until his eyes went cross eyed.

Almost as if reading Dean’s mind, Jo reached over and grabbed one of Dean’s fries, one of the crispy ones too, “What’s up with you? You’ve been in a weird mood all morning,” she remarked, kicking his shin under the table playfully.

“No I haven’t,” Dean insisted with narrowed eyes, even though he totally had been. But that wasn’t something that you admitted to. Especially not to Jo.

“Yeah you have,” Jo argued, going to grab yet another fry, “I know it’s the first day of school and everything, but we’re all suffering together so put a smile on your face,” she grinned widely.

Dean slapped her hand away from his food, “It’s not about being at school,” he scowled, feeling silly for even doing so. Jo always brought out Dean’s childish nature; perhaps it was because Jo had always felt like an annoying little sister who _always_ picked on him. The least Dean could do was be irritating right back at her.

Intrigued, Victor raised an eyebrow, “What is it then?”

Dean sighed, hating himself as he muttered, “I had a dream last night,” he flicked his fries with his middle finger, suddenly losing his appetite.

His friends didn’t make fun of him for admitting it, something for which Dean was grateful. For some people at school, if Dean had told them he’d had a dream that had messed up his head, he would have been teased and laughed at all day. But not with his group of friends; yet another reminder that Dean had the best people around him.

“What was the nightmare?” Benny asked conversationally, perking up somewhat. Apparently talking about Dean was going to help him forget about missing Andrea every second of every day. Not that Dean was bitter that Benny was actually dating the love of his life rather than pining. No, not at all.

“I had a pretty creepy one about whitewalkers the other day. Remind me to ignore you and Charlie and not read _A Song of Ice and Fire_. Especially when I’m about to sleep,” Jo complained with a huff; for someone as bossy and domineering as Jo could be, she sure could be a wuss at the exact same time. She rarely showed it, but Dean had known her long enough to know that certain things freaked her out; especially things that weren’t even real. A mass murderer running after her? No problem. A half-eaten zombie corpse? Jo would shudder just thinking about it.

Too busy fussing about his damn dream, Dean didn’t bother to mock Jo about being afraid of some pretend monsters, “It wasn’t a nightmare,” Dean explained, passing the few fries he had left to Jo. At the slide of the plate, Jo’s eyes lit up and she made grabby hands.

“Then why has it made you such a grump?” Jo asked, shovelling food into her mouth. Jesus, by looking at her reacting to food, people would think she wasn’t well fed. No one would realise her mother was Ellen, who owned the Roadhouse, _the_ best place for burgers. Jo was spoilt for food, much like Dean was with how fucking good his mom cooked too. Mary was the _perfect_ cook. And, well, the perfect everything really.

Victor frowned, “Aren’t good dreams supposed to make you happy?”

“Yeah they are,” Benny stated unhelpfully, “So what’s got your head into a funk, brother?”

“It was about Cas, okay?” Dean blurted loudly, instantly regretting it. While he always went to his friends when he was feeling particularly helpless when it came to Cas, today wasn’t really one of those moments. His friends were helpful, sure, but there was nothing they could do about a damn dream. It wasn’t like they could erase it from Dean’s memory for him. And he wouldn’t want that even if he was given the choice. Apparently Dean was a masochist.

“Ohh,” Jo hummed, “We’ve all been there.”

Dean’s neck very nearly snapped as he turned to glare at Jo. What the hell? She’d had dreams about Cas? _Cas?_ And not normal dreams; they were talking about Dean having a dream of Cas, which would obviously be romantic in nature. And here Jo was, saying that she’d been in that very same position once. Again, what the fucking hell was going on?

“I mean,” Jo backtracked with a roll of her eyes; she had long since gotten used to Dean being a tad bit possessive of Cas, “We’ve all been there, as in, dreaming about our crushes, not that we’ve all dreamt of Cas, don’t attack me,” she raised her hands up in the air in mock surrender.

“Oh,” Dean mumbled, realising that he had jumped the gun. And then some. It wasn’t his fault that he was overprotective of Cas and a teensy bit possessive. Well, it was his fault but he had his reasons. He’d known Cas all of his life, quite literally, and having Cas by his side- an awesome, amazing fucking human being- meant that Dean never really wanted him to leave. Sometimes, Dean wondered whether it was because, deep down, he was afraid that someone better would come along who Cas would prefer over Dean. Because even though Dean was kind of happy with who he was as a person, he often wondered what the hell Cas saw in him as a friend. To Dean, the sun literally shone from Cas’ ass. He was smart, had a great dry sense of humour that no one normally understood but Dean, and Cas was always there to listen to Dean’s pointless rants about _which Star Trek_ character was the best. All in all, Cas was pretty much the perfect human being, Perhaps Dean was biased. Maybe he was looking through Cas tinted glasses. But he doubted it.

“A crush is someone you’ve liked for a few weeks,” Victor remarked, pulling Dean out of his thoughts, “I think Dean’s thing for Cas far surpasses a crush.”

“Shut up,” Dean rumbled petulantly, though he knew they were right. Ever since Dean could remember, he was hopelessly in love with Castiel. He had no idea what time in their friendship Dean had started to wonder what it would feel like if their lips touched, or whether Cas was interested in girls _and_ boys like Dean was. Dean didn’t know when his childhood innocence of just having a best friend had turned into wanting to kiss him senseless. When they were young, Dean had always bragged to people that he and Cas were going to get married, but that had been fancy talk from a three year old kid, something that other kids did too according to Dean and Cas’ parents when Dean had announced it to him. ‘ _Oh, are you sweetie? Isn’t that nice?_ ’ in a gumdrop voice that told them that they thought they were being cute.

In short, Dean was screwed.

“It’s true though,” Jo nodded along, “You’re completely and irrevocably in love with him.”

“Did you just quote _Twilight_?” Victor looked horrified, actually looking like he might lean over to the right and vomit all over the shiny canteen floor, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I was being ironic, don’t worry,” Jo grinned, “You don’t have to stage an intervention.”

“Alright, let’s get to the actual scoop. What was the dream?” Benny interrupted, getting impatient. He hated unnecessary conversation that he didn’t understand some of the time. Sometimes, Benny would look at them like they were from a different planet; Dean figured that it was a state thing. Just because they’d lived in the same country growing up didn’t mean that they’d had the same upbringing. Benny had lived a very different life and would use the strangest of sayings that Dean had never even heard of. It was kind of amusing though.

Dean awkwardly half shrugged, not wanting to get into it and already wondering why the hell he’d told them, “Nothing much.”

Dean didn’t want to explain that it hadn’t even been ground breaking; a simple dream of him and Cas walking hand in hand down a street, pausing to kiss and smile at each other. That had been it. No future proposals. Not even sex. Just them holding hands and kissing. That was how pathetically far gone Dean was when it came to Cas now; waking up and realising that mere holding hands and kissing had been just a dream and not a reality was enough to send Dean into a spiral of wistfulness.

“Come on, tell us,” Jo whined; that was Jo, never wanting to not know something. One time, she’d stolen _Sam_ from Dean because she’d wanted to know Dean’s big bad secret. In the end, Dean had told her about how he’d stashed fancy looking marbles in the alcove of an empty tree. _What?_ He was six at the time, it wasn’t like it was going to be legendary.

“You can’t start telling us and then just end it there,” Victor agreed, looking far more interested in the whole thing than Dean would have thought he would. Normally, when the topic of Dean’s crush on Cas came up, Victor wouldn’t really say much. Out of the group, he wasn’t all that bothered about the dating game or Dean’s love life. He’d sit there and listen without complaint, but he was never one to get involved. Jo did, because she was a nosey fucker. Benny did too, because he was a not so secret hopeless romantic at heart and wanted Dean and Cas to get together in the end. So did Charlie, who was always sighing happily when she saw Dean and Cas doing _anything_ together. And Ash was too busy doing random fucking shit to notice anything else.

“Yes I can!” Dean argued, “I don’t have to tell you anything,” he lifted his chin defiantly.

“Yes you do,” Jo sang.

“Yep. Tell us,” Benny encouraged him. And that started a whole chant of ‘Tell us’; sung by Jo who sounded like a fucking foghorn. To which Dean ignored and hoped she would shut up very, very soon. He tried to play along with it though, rolling his eyes and pretending to block his ears with his fingers. It was all good natured teasing, except when it suddenly wasn’t.

“Quick,” Dean told them urgently, snapping out of his laughter, “Change the subject.”

At the quick change in Dean’s tone, the gang instantly knew something was up.

“What?” Victor frowned, “Why?”

Dean forced a grin on his lips, his cheeks hurting from the strain of faking it, “Cas is coming,” he explained.

There were hisses of ‘Oh’ and ‘Shit’; enough for Dean to realise his friends had his back. They all shut up, Jo suddenly voicing about how she thought Mr Riley looked like a pelican. The rest of the gang just started nodding along and umming and ahhing at the right places, clearly not listening to a word she was saying because they would not look that fucking serious as they visualised their teacher as a fucking _pelican._ Ignoring them, Dean watched Castiel instead.

Just like any other day, Castiel looked like he’d only just rolled out of bed. Dean had no idea how that was Cas’ permanent look, but it was. Like he’d woken up five seconds ago and was incredibly perturbed by it. Hair ridiculously messy, a slight darkness under his eyes, and a small downturn of his mouth with a line between his eyebrows as he walked through the throng of students. As always, his clothes looked like they’d only just been thrown on, a deep green sweater hanging off him with jeans that nicely shaped his thighs. And jesus fucking christ, he was _gorgeous._

“Hey,” Dean said as soon as Castiel was towering over him.

Not bothering with any pleasantries, Castiel simply placed his bag on the floor next to Dean’s feet and announced, “I’m just going to get some food,” and then he was off to the vending machine.

“Okay,” Dean said, quick enough for Castiel to hear it before he was away again. For what some may have called rudeness, Dean just saw it as a ‘Cas-ism’, little things that Cas did in life that was just _him._ He didn’t see the point in saying hello or goodbye because what was the point when it was never really a goodbye because they would see each other again? And he didn’t bother shaking hands with people when he met a new person, because the ritual was weird in his eyes. There were a lot of things Castiel didn’t understand, so he simply didn’t do them.

Castiel didn’t do it to be rude or obnoxious; he just didn’t realise they were things that people were meant to do for some reason. And if anyone told him about it, he’d forget about it two minutes later. Dean kind of loved that about Cas the most though; he didn’t give a shit about social pleasantries that everyone else forced themselves to follow. Castiel followed his own rules.

“Why did we have to change the subject again?” Victor asked with a raised eyebrow as soon as Cas was out of hearing distance.

Tearing his gaze from Cas, Dean looked at Victor like he’d lost his head, “Because Cas was here you idiot,” he hissed.

Victor shrugged, “I don’t get why we can’t talk about it front of him. He knows that you like him.”

“Just because he knows doesn’t mean we can talk about it,” Dean explained, turning to look back at Castiel, “Because if we talk about it, it’ll make things awkward.”

“He’s right,” Jo nodded.

“We’ve never talked about it and we never will, else it’ll go all awkward and weird and it might ruin our friendship. So no, don’t talk about it with Cas. Not _ever_ ,” Dean told them, because this was incredibly important, one of the most important things he needed for them to put into their skull, “Okay?” he asked, staring them all out as he waited for a reply.

“Yes sir,” Victor mock saluted, much to Jo’s amusement and Benny’s eye rolling.

It might have seemed like Dean was being a pissy asshole to his friends. But having Cas acknowledge Dean’s feelings for him was something that Dean was terrified of. It was better to keep them pushed down and unspoken about. Because bringing it to the table would make it the forefront of their relationship and it would just constantly be _there._ It wouldn’t be an elephant in the corner of the room then, it would be an elephant sitting on their god damn face.

The conversation was instantly shut down as Castiel came back with a tray in his hand, completely unaware that he’d been the centre of the talk. He plopped himself next to Dean, plonking the tray onto the table, afterward running a hand through his hair.

“What have you got today?” Dean asked; Cas’ choice of meals were never the norm. From spaghetti on pizza to a bowl of cereal and gummy worms, Castiel ate the oddest of things. And most of them were as unhealthy as shit.

“A heart attack, that’s what,” Victor chimed.

“It’s a good job that you run track else you’d be 90% sugar by now Cas,” Dean nudged Castiel in the ribs.

A curved frown settled onto Cas’ lips, “That’s entirely impossible,” he stated in a way that Dean knew meant Cas wasn’t playing along and was actually taking the situation seriously.

Not bothering to reply, Dean simple wrapped an arm around Cas, tightening his grip around Cas’ shoulders. Subconsciously or consciously, Castiel shuffled further into Dean’s hold, though Dean wondered whether he was just doing it because Dean was holding onto him so tight that it would be more comfortable for Cas to settle into the grip rather than fight it.

“Where’ve you been this morning anyway?” Dean asked, stealing one of the pieces of candy, something that Castiel didn’t even blink at, “Haven’t saw you much besides first period,” he stated before shovelling the candy into his mouth.

“I was in the library. I just wanted some peace and quiet,” Castiel explained, gaze settled on his food; again, it seemed like he was being rude. But rarely did Cas give someone full eye contact, instead constantly flitting between looking at the person he was talking to and then looking away. Dean had overhead people saying it was annoying once, but as soon as they’d saw him standing there listening they’d shut the hell up. Dean thought it was fucking endearing how Cas would look at you and then down with a little smile on his face as he listened. How was that shit annoying?

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, “I get you.”

Castiel finally looked up at Dean, squinting at him in a way that made Dean still think the guy needed glasses; that, or he was perpetually confused about everything, including Dean’s face, “I did try and text you to say you could come down and meet me but my phone wasn’t working.”

No one else in the gang questioned why they hadn’t been invited. It was go to knowledge that, if Cas could choose, no one else would be invited besides Dean. It was just a thing that happened. It wasn’t that Castiel disliked the rest of his friends, he loved them, but he preferred solitude over people. And Dean was a weird anomaly that got through, probably because they’d been inseparable growing up. Stuff like that just stuck, Dean guessed.

“I’ll check it out for you, pass it here,” Dean gestured with his hand, waiting for Cas to pull out his phone from his jean pocket, “You’ve probably done something dumb on it.”

“I’m not dumb,” Cas blew out a hot puff of air as he dropped his phone onto Dean’s palm with a small scowl.

“Obviously,” Dean rolled his eyes affectionately, “You’re the smartest person I know,” he said matter of fact, because it was fucking true, “You’re just shit with technology, that’s all.”

Castiel smiled fondly, a small curve of his lips, “Well, it’s good my best friend is going to be the world’s best engineer then.”

“Shut up,” Dean muttered, always one to shut down anything like that. It wasn’t that it made him uncomfortable- No, that was exactly it. Even though he’d had his family and friends supporting him his entire life, it still made him feel weird when they called him out for being so great or whatever.

“You put your phone on airplane mode,” Dean told Cas, plonking the phone onto Cas’ palm.

The explanation confused Castiel all the more, a little wrinkle settling between his brows, “How did I do that?”

“I don’t know, you pressed the button somehow. But I’ve fixed it for you because I’m that awesome,” Dean grinned, realising that the rest of his friends were ogling their every move. Perhaps talking about his big gay love for Cas wasn’t the greatest thing to do right before Cas came walking over.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel murmured, placing his phone back in his pocket so he could get back to eating his food.

“How come you didn’t stay in the library?” Dean asked; once Cas had settled into a spot, he tended to stay there until he was forced out. The library was one of his few spots at school that Castiel was comfortable with.

“Some of the new year came in and started making a lot of noise,” Castiel explained with a sigh; Dean hoped for Cas’ sake it was just a first day kind of thing and there wasn’t going to be a continuous racket for Cas. Dean didn’t want Cas to lose one of his quiet havens.

“Ew,” Jo pulled a face, distorting her pretty features, “I hate it when the new year come up and don’t realise that they’re in high school and are brats.”

“They’re dumbasses who forget they’re in high school,” Victor grumbled.

“Careful,” Dean pointed at him, “My brother’s one of them.”

“I’m talking about the ones that act like three year olds, not your brother,” Victor added, “Sam’s smarter than most of the kids in _our_ year.”

Dean puffed at the compliment, because a compliment about Sam was pretty much a compliment to him. He was proud of his brother and everything he’d become; a smart kid who was just as kind as clever. Which was a hell of a lot. One day, Sam was going to be the best damn lawyer in the world and was probably going to save everyone at some point as well.

“And I also needed to eat too,” Castiel suddenly started speaking again. He did that a lot too, trailing off from other people’s talking into something else entirely; it was difficult to keep up with him unless you were used to it like Dean.

“Anyway, I assumed you would all be here for lunch and I thought you would all be much more enjoyable company,” Castiel half shrugged.

“You’ve got that right,” Benny grinned, clinking his bottle against Cas’ milk carton. It didn’t quite have the same effect as wine glasses clinking together, but Dean kind of appreciated the tacky sentiment.

“We make the best company,” Dean agreed, squeezing Cas’ shoulder.

Castiel looked up at Dean, eyes softening, “Yes,” he gave Dean a smile, one that made his eyes wrinkle, “You do.”

At that moment, Dean felt like someone had just punched him in the heart. It was the simplest of things, Castiel just agreeing to what he had said, but it meant so much more to Dean. Any time Cas said something nice to him, Dean pathetically held onto it and stored it into his brain for future times when he felt like shit. It was the little things that pleased him the most.

Victor cleared his throat, “How’s everyone’s first day going then?”

Jo glared at him for reminding her of where she currently was, “First day at school is always shitty,” she grumbled unhappily.

“It’s one of the easiest days though. It’s just full of teacher’s doing intros to the classes and nothing really happens,” Dean offered. He kind of enjoyed school; he got to hang out with his friends and he got to actually learn something, another thing he liked to do. Sure, some of the teachers were vile and some of the subjects were too difficult, boring, or felt like a waste of time, but all in all, Dean liked being at school.

“Which makes it pointless,” Benny commented, “I’d prefer it if they just went straight into teaching.”

“I agree,” Castiel nodded, “Instead of having to go to class in the morning for a pointless introduction to a subject we’ve been doing our entire lives, I could have been sleeping,” he complained, rubbing at his eyes for dramatic effect.

Dean couldn’t help but smile, “You’re such a grump when it comes to not having enough sleep.”

Castiel stared at him, “No one is happy when they don’t get sleep,” he said defensively, still messing with his tired eyes as he grumbled and mumbled.

“Yeah but you act like it’s the end of the world,” Dean teased, pulling Cas closer to him so he could squish his cheek with his nose.

Castiel’s mouth didn’t even twitch to signal a smile, “Because it is,” he replied shortly with a huff.

“And it is for everyone around you, else you’ll kick their ass,” Dean chuckled.

“You are kind of terrifying when you’re sleep deprived,” Jo agreed with a grin.

The words actually seemed to worry Castiel, who looked at Dean for reassurance, “Terrifying? I wouldn’t say terri-“

Dean squeezed his shoulder, “We’re joking Cas, don’t worry,” he soothed; sometimes, Cas wouldn’t get in on the joke and would misinterpret things as serious. And the notion of him being terrifying to his friends was obviously something he definitely didn’t want to be.

“Oh,” Castiel’s shoulders settled back down as he flashed Jo a small smile in apology, “Okay.”

Jo gave Cas a reassuring smile to let him know everything was fine before switching the subject, “Anything exciting happen in any of your classes?”

“I don’t know. Mr Rednapp is growing a beard,” Benny offered.

“Wow,” Dean said with his best monotone voice and bitch face, “Ground breaking.”

Benny glared at him, “Wait till you see it, you might change your mind when you see his ginger beard.”

There was a pause, “Ginger?” Jo asked slowly; the hair on top of Mr Rednapp‘s heard was black.

“Oh yeah, it looks weird,” Benny nodded.

There were mumbles of grievance as they all visualised Mr Rednapp with a ginger beard. Okay, Dean had to definitely see that at some point today. Maybe the guy was doing it for a joke? Or he was doing it for charity which was pretty decent of the guy. Either way, it was still going to look dumb.

“Mrs Lewis has finally realised that splitting me and Cas up is a waste of time and she’s let us sit together again,” Dean told his friends proudly; the pure happiness seeping through his tone. Last semester had been hell when they’d been forced apart. Throughout the class, Dean had been in a bad mood from the start, was despondent to questions and hardly got the work done. Castiel had struggled just as much, frowning constantly until they were out of the classroom.

Castiel nodded, “She finally realised that even though we talk a lot when we sit next to each other, we still get more work done than when we’re apart.”

Jo pointed at the both of them with a french fry, “Any teacher who think they’re gonna be successful in splitting you two up are dumbasses who are going to realise really, really quickly that they’re gonna be big failures,” she shoved the fry into her mouth as if to finalise the point.

“Yep,” Dean agreed, clunking his and Cas’ heads together, squeezing Cas’ tightly as he smashed their cheeks together. Castiel didn’t even comment on being dragged, nor did he smile and laugh like everyone else. But he didn’t try and push away.

Jo grinned, “I think this year is gonna be a good year.”

“Our last hurrah,” Victor smiled.

“Yeah,” Dean cheered, “Our last hurrah!”

 

 


	2. Abandoned Houses

Unbeknownst to the majority of Dean and Cas’ family, they had a secret hang out spot. An abandoned building on the edge of town that they had made into their den years and years ago. Dean wouldn’t exactly call it safe. But it wasn’t a death trap either. There were no rotting floorboards or needles thrown around. It was quite simply an abandoned house that everyone had forgotten about besides Dean and Castiel. They’d found it once when they were kids, exploring the town like kids did. Dean had just figured no one else had taken the place for themselves because the only door that wasn’t boarded up was the back door and people might not have noticed the secret entry.

The higher windows weren’t boarded, but were empty frames besides the one window that had somehow managed to keep all of its glass. There were stairs up onto the roof, the spot that Dean and Castiel mainly went to if there was nice weather. It was only two storeys up so there wasn’t much of a view, but it was safe to be up there because there were railings in place so neither could plummet to their death. There was something relaxing about sitting on the roof of an abandoned building, sun beating down, with your best friend right next to you. Perhaps it was the combination of sheer luck that Dean and Castiel had found it and no one else, and because it was on the edge of town where no one else bothered to look. Either way, Dean was glad that they’d managed to keep it for their own. Whenever he and Castiel wanted to have some peace and quiet, Castiel more so, they would find their way there. Just like today.

Castiel was tucked against Dean’s side, a book in his lap that he seemed to be pretty into, meanwhile Dean was reading one of his trusty Vonnegut books. They had hardly spoken for the last half an hour, an easy silence as they both passed the time. That was one of the greatest things about being around Cas; there was no need to fill the silence with nonsense, they could sit together and get on with separate things whilst sitting side by side. But at the same time, Castiel wouldn’t mind if Dean chose to talk about shit either. It was an interaction between the two of them that could only have been caused by knowing each other for so long.

“Enjoying the book?” Dean asked, gently nudging Cas’ head that was leaning against the sharpness of Dean’s shoulder.

At the question, Castiel swivelled around until he could look at Dean properly, “It’s okay. It’s not as good as the first book,” he explained with a sigh, “But it’s good enough,” he peered down at Dean’s battered book, “I’m assuming you’re enjoying yours.”

“Obviously,” Dean snorted.

Castiel smiled, a small quirk of the lips that no one else would have probably noticed except for Dean. Castiel shuffled on the rug they were sitting on so he could sit side by side with Dean, legs crossed as he placed the book carefully onto the rug. The rug was one of the few things that they’d lugged over into the building over the years. They were things from scrap heaps, shit that no one wanted, but could be used to spruce up an abandoned building. Or at least make it more comfy for Dean and Cas to sit in. There was a rug in one of the top bedrooms that they situated in when it was bad weather; it was one of the rooms that was the least damaged. But the rug they were sitting on right now was on the roof, thankfully dry because of the good weather they were having at the moment.

Castiel squinted at the sun, his displeasure for the warm weather written on his face; he’d once gotten sunburnt on holiday at the beach and had never forgiven the sun for it, “Remember when we first brought Sam here and we put a blindfold on him so he wouldn't know where it was?” Castiel asked randomly.

Dean snorted at the memory, “Yeah,”

“We were mean to him sometimes,” Castiel replied.

“Nah,” Dean shook his head, reassuring Castiel, “We were just being his big brothers,” he stated; Castiel had been right there holding Dean’s hand when they’d both met Sam for the first time, a tiny wriggly thing tightly wrapped in a blanket as he scrunched up his red, podgy face. That had earned Castiel the right to see Sam as his honorary younger brother. And Sam absolutely adored Castiel; they were both book nerds and loved to watch documentaries together while Dean snoozed or played on his phone.

“And we were way nicer to him than Gabriel was to you,” Dean mentioned.

Castiel considered it with a cock of his head, “Yes,” he licked his chapped lips to wet them, “That’s true.”

Gabriel was Cas’ only sibling, just like how Sam was for Dean. But the relationship between Cas and Gabriel was entirely different to the Winchester’s. Gabriel was coined ‘The Tormenter’ by Dean. He loved to prank literally everyone and had still left a lasting remark in high school even though he’d left four years ago. Perhaps that was another reason why a lot of people didn’t understand Castiel; they all expected him to be like Gabriel. Which he wasn’t. Far from it.

Sometimes, Dean would want to thump Gabriel for his idiocy, especially his teasing of what Cas was like as a person. The only reason he didn’t was because he knew that, ultimately, Gabriel fucking _loved_ his brother. One time, when Gabriel had thought Dean and Cas might have been dating (through no fault of Cas’, it was probably the love sick puppy eyes Dean did that made Gabriel think it); he’d pretty much threatened Dean that he would never dare hurt his brother else there would be hell to pay. Even though Dean never needed to be warned to treat Cas right and treat him like the best fucking human being he was; he was glad that Cas had a big brother who would protect him at all costs. It reminded Dean of him and Sam.

“Besides, we let Sam come back a couple of times after that,” Dean said.

“On the strict promise he wouldn’t show anyone else and wouldn’t come here without us,” Castiel replied. Dean remembered it like yesterday, the first time they’d brought a bewildered Sam into the abandoned place with a homemade blindfold that they’d forced him to wear throughout the entire neighbourhood (god knows what people had thought) and they’d gotten away with it because Sam had been too young to know how to get from A to B without someone’s help. But if they had waited until now to take him there, it would take him all but two seconds to figure out where he was and how to get back there.

“And god love him, he stuck to his promise,” Dean thought about it, “Maybe we can give him this place when we go to college, so long as he only lets, like, Jess up here.”

“Jess wouldn’t tell anyone,” Castiel agreed; he liked Sam’s girlfriend as much as Dean did. She was a good person, had smiles made of sunshine like her hair, and was a giant dork like Sam. They were perfect for each other.

“Yeah, we’ll do that,” Dean decided, “Might as well let someone use this place when we’re gone. We’ll just have to remind him to bolt the door shut when he comes and goes else someone might notice and start using it too.”

“Mhm,” Castiel agreed, falling back onto the rug so he was lying down, eyes closed to avoid the sun. Without much thought, Dean followed suit. He dropped his book to the right of him and lay down right next to Cas, their sides touching.

They were silent for a little while, soaking up the sun as their breathing started to mimic the others.

After a little while, Castiel murmured, “It's strange that we can't remember when we first met because it was so early we hadn't even developed our long term memory yet.”

Dean turned his head to look at Cas’ profile, eyes still shut, jaw defined, “I've never really thought about it,” Dean said, though now he was. They had literally known each other since the day they were born, their cots in the nursery at the hospital right next to each other. Their mothers had met each other there, becoming fast friends, their fathers too. Through that, Dean and Castiel had been in each other’s lives because their parents were friends and Mary liked to get parenting advice from people who’d been in her shoes before. It didn’t take long until Dean and Cas’ friendship had blossomed and they’d started begging their parents to meet up again so they could see their newly appointed best friend.

“I suppose we'll remember our last meeting,” Castiel said quietly.

“Fucking hell Cas,” Dean complained, playfully shoving Cas, “What a way to make it morbid.”

“Sorry,” Castiel mumbled, turning to look at Dean, his left eye shut from the sun, his other wide open, blaringly blue.

“Anyway there won't be a last meeting,” Dean told Cas, “Maybe there'll be one on earth but then we'll meet in heaven and make it a fucking party.”

Castiel didn’t reply at first, his gaze lowered, “I don't know whether I believe in all that.”

“You're named after an angel, you have to," Dean teased; Cas’ name was always good teasing fodder. When they were little, Dean had decided to call Cas ‘Angel’ all the damn time when he’d found out the origin of the name. The name choice had always plagued Castiel, from people squinting as they tried to learn the pronunciation (which was dumb, the name wasn’t _that_ difficult), to people constantly asking why his parents had chosen that name whilst looking at Cas like he was some devout Christian who was about to rise as the next Jesus Christ. The whole thing was terribly amusing to Dean.

“Dean,” Castiel scowled, though Dean knew it was good-natured. Unlike some other people, Dean could get away with a lot of things when it came to Cas. There were few people that could tease Cas, hell, even _hug_ the guy, without Castiel voicing his displeasure and walking ten billion miles away from the person. Whenever Dean got away with something that others couldn’t, he always felt privileged and kinda special.

“Nothing wrong with being an angel, Cas,” Dean drawled, poking Cas’ cheek to garner a further frown from the guy.

“Hmmph,” was all Castiel did to reply, shutting his eyes from the sun again as it peeked out of a cloud.

Dean thought back to what they were talking about; of their inevitable deaths. It wasn’t a nice thought to think about, especially the idea of one of them having to deal with the other’s death. The thought made Dean want to puke; having lived with Cas his entire life, he wasn’t sure how he’d deal without him.

“With any luck, we'll die at the same time and we won't have to be apart,” Dean blew out a long breath, voice quietening as his hand tingled to reach out and grab Cas’ hand; instead, he settled on gripping Cas’ wrist instead, “Not ever.”

Dean shut his mouth when he realised what he’d said. That wasn’t something a best friend said, was it? Sure, best friends liked the idea of sticking together, but they didn’t hope for mutual deaths because they were terrified of losing the other. Sometimes Dean would come out with these things that would always make him hold his breath; a comment that he was sure Castiel would understand the connotations behind, which would make him uncomfortable and force them to talk about Dean’s unrequited feelings. Because Dean knew when that moment happened, nothing would ever be the same between them again.

Thankfully this time, Castiel didn’t even flinch. Eyes still closed, he didn’t say anything, humming what Dean thought might be a murmur of agreement, or a simple way of acknowledging that Dean had spoken. Either way, Dean was glad it hadn’t caused a conversation he was dreading to have.

Dean cleared his throat, opting to try and lighten the mood before Cas could focus too much on what Dean had just voiced, “Unless you're gonna die young because then you can fucking go by yourself.”

“Dean!” Castiel yelled, gravelly voice at its highest as he elbowed Dean in the ribs.

“Kidding!” Dean yelped, “I'm kidding.”

Castiel frowned at him, eyes roaming over Dean’s features as if to analyse whether he was indeed actually kidding. When he seemingly accepted the joke, he blew out a hot breath and shut his eyes again, hand coming up to shield his face from the sun.

Castiel licked his pink lips, pressing them together, “Perhaps we should change the subject.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, which was difficult to do when lying down; thinking and talking about their untimely deaths wasn’t exactly the greatest of conversations.

They were silent for a little while, the only sound of traffic passing by beneath them and their shared breaths. Castiel stayed quiet, a frown starting to form on his lips that told Dean there was something up. Dean could spot the little differences in Cas’ face from miles away, even though no one else apparently could. It had always baffled Dean, how people could look at Cas and not understand when he was feeling hurt or happy or sad. It was obvious, by the flicker of warmth in Cas’ eyes, or the small rise of his lips. It was fucking _obvious._

“What’re you thinking about?” Dean asked; whatever was going on in Cas’ mind was always interesting. The outside of Castiel was beautiful, but his brain was the most beautiful thing about him. Dean knew there was an intense amount of thought in Cas’ mind; he thought about everything properly, bothering to make the effort. And the fact that he was a genius meant that Castiel would randomly come out with things that could make Dean question the existence of everything. Sometimes, Dean wondered whether Castiel understood how smart and interesting he was, how not everyone would watch an episode of _Doctor Sexy MD_ and find deep hidden meanings behind it.

Castiel sighed quietly, “College.”

“Oh,” Dean turned around so he was lying on his front, a better view of Castiel’s face so that he could see more than just profile, “What about it?” he asked, folding his arms under his chest to give himself a better prop to look at Cas.

Castiel sighed, “I don’t know whether I’m looking forward to it or not.”

Dean blinked, unsure of where the hell that had come from; college was going to be fucking _great,_ “Come on, it’s gonna be awesome,” Dean nudged Cas excitedly, “You’re going to ace all your classes because you’re a smart ass and we’ll be dorm buddies and then in the later years we can get that apartment we’ve always talked about.”

It was _the_ dream, a dream that Dean had had for years, ever since he and Cas had both said they’d wanted to go to college. College was always better than high school; more freedom but still enough of a safety net in case you royally fucked up. Dean didn’t much care about the majority of ‘college life’; sure, the parties and shit might be fun, but he wasn’t just going to college for parties. One night stands weren’t his thing for obvious reasons and he wasn’t really one for drinking either. But the whole idea of living in a dorm with Cas, studying for a degree that Dean would earn through hard work and some sheer luck, having some more independence and meeting new people at the same time? The shit sounded _amazing._

“Yes, that part sounds good,” Castiel admitted, though his face was still set into a frown, “But there’s going to be a lot of new people and you know I don’t like throngs of people. And none of them ever seem to understand me,” he looked at Dean, square in the eyes as he said ever so matter-of-factly, “Everyone thinks I’m weird, Dean.”

“You’re not weird,” he insisted, jaw clenching at even the insinuation. They’d dealt with this ever since Cas had been a kid. Castiel wasn’t like everyone else; he didn’t have a particularly expressive face (though Dean thought that was bullshit because Dean only had to glance at him and he knew how Cas was feeling), his voice was deep but sometimes monotonous, he didn’t like being touchy feely, even a pat on the back had him wincing. In short, Castiel was different. And being different meant people equated that to Cas being some kind of weirdo or whatever. When they were younger and people were more naïve, people had tried to pick on Castiel. But when they’d realised they couldn’t get a reaction from Cas and he had a defensive shaped best friend, people backed off. That didn’t mean people had stopped viewing Cas as odd though. For the most part now, people at school had gotten used to how Cas was and they’d dealt with it. But there were still a few people who gave Cas weird looks when he didn’t do something considered ‘correct’.

When the first instances of bullying had happened, one night in bed, Castiel had mumbled to Dean whether he thought he was weird and whether he needed to change who he was so people would be happy with him. That night, Dean had cupped Cas’ face and told him how _special_ he was and how he never needed to change because he was perfect the way he was and fuck anyone who thought different.

Nowadays, Castiel was content with who he was, but every now and then, he would have his doubts.

“Dean,” Castiel looked at Dean in a way that showed he thought Dean was telling him a bare faced lie.

Dean sighed, leaning on one elbow so he could poke Cas in the ribs, “Okay, you’re kinda weird,” he admitted, “But so am I. All the interesting people are,” he smiled toothily, “I’d prefer you to be like this than a boring fucker.”

The words didn’t soothe Castiel, who murmured, “I hear what people say about me. Everyone thinks I’m some kind of emotionless robot. I’ve heard them say it.”

Dean felt like punching something at the fact that Cas had heard people say it; any other time, Dean would be demanding Cas tell him the names of _everyone_ involved so he could kill some people, but right now, Cas needed him, “They’re dumbasses who haven’t been paying attention,” he retaliated, voice rising, “You’re not some kind of freaky robot. I know that and all the other important people know that too. You’re fucking hilarious sometimes cause you’ve got that great dry humour or whatever it’s called,” he poked Cas in the ribs again, ticking him somewhat to make Castiel bite back a giggle, “And you’re grumpy in the mornings or when you don’t do perfect in a test.  And you get really happy when you get a perfect cup of coffee or when you see a cat. And no before you say it, we’re not hiding a cat in our dorms. It’s not gonna happen,” he pointed at Cas to warn him.

Once the words had escaped his lips, Dean was worried he’d gone too far. _Again_. But Dean figured ‘fuck it’ and carried on, “If that means you’re a robot then they should make some more robots in the world because everyone is gonna want to buy at least one of them if they’re like you. Now,” Dean sat up onto his knees, leaning back on them as he opened out his arms, “C’mere,” he told Cas, who blinked up at him for a moment before following the order. Castiel clambered up into a sitting position, shuffling over to Dean so he could be hugged tightly.

“Anyone who says any shit to you, tell me and I’ll kick their ass with you,” Dean rumbled into Cas’ ear.

Castiel sighed into the hug, body relaxing, “I hear them talking about it to each other, they don’t say it to me outright.”

“That’s because they wouldn’t dare to,” Dean told him, knowing it was true. No one would ever talk shit about Cas, not in a high school where they knew that Cas and Dean wouldn’t take the shit.

Castiel pulled out of the hug after a few more seconds, tiredly rubbing at his eye with his fist, “Do you really think that college will be okay?” Castiel asked, blue eyes piercing into Dean’s green ones in that way Castiel did that made it feel like he was looking deep into your soul. Other people didn’t like it, but Dean did.

Even though Castiel wasn’t outright saying it, Dean knew this was bothering Castiel far more than he was letting on. He was worried, perhaps even scared. Which wouldn’t be surprising. College was fucking terrifying.

“It’s gonna be alright, y’know,” Dean soothed, reaching over to squeeze Cas’ shoulders, “We’re gonna have a great time at college. And anyway,” he raised an eyebrow, “Do you really think you’re the only one who’s scared about going to college?”

Castiel blinked, “You are?”

“Of course I fucking am!” Dean laughed, “It’s a new place with new people, not to mention the studying is going to be harder. And most of our friends are going to other places. But we’ve got one thing at least,” he grinned, eyebrows raising, “We’ve got each other. So we’re gonna be fine. We’ll help each other out. We’ve just got to stick together, just like we always do,” he finalised.

Castiel smiled, eyes growing fond, “It’s what we do best.”

“Hell yes it is.”


	3. Grumpy Birthdays

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only two more chapters to go!

Just like most mornings, Dean woke up inhaling tufts of hair. No matter what happened, even if Dean forced himself to sleep with his back to Cas, they always ended up wrapped together in the mornings. Dean could only assume that in his unconsciousness, he didn’t have any inhibitions and grabbed onto Cas because it was the only chance he had.

Thankfully, Castiel was not only a heavy sleeper but one that needed to sleep for at least ten hours to function for the rest of the day. That meant that Castiel slept far longer, so Dean could pull them apart and get the hell out of there before Cas woke up and saw what Dean had done.

For a few seconds, Dean basked in the warmth of Cas, cuddling him a little closer as he breathed in Cas’ scent. Castiel just tended to smell of whatever he’d last eaten or drank and the small hints of strawberry shampoo that he’d forced Dean to have in his house as well so Cas could use it when he stayed over. Cas really loved to smell like a strawberry for some reason.

With a sleepy sigh, Dean leant out a little, eyes roaming over Cas’ sleeping face. Cas had a lot of sleeping expressions (and it was perhaps creepy that Dean knew that); today, Cas’ forehead was scrunched up as he pouted slightly. Endearingly, his hair was pressed against his forehead.

Dean pushed Cas’ hair back without even thinking about it, thumb smoothing the wrinkles on Cas’ skin. With another regretful sigh, Dean slipped out of bed, careful to tuck Cas back into the covers properly because the guy always felt the cold. Dean toed on the garish slippers Cas had gotten him last Christmas. They had giant cat faces stuck to the front of them; they were ugly and kind of a health hazard as well, but Dean secretly loved them.

Like always, his parents were already awake, drinking coffee whilst Mary made them pancakes (for the most part, John and Mary made breakfast together side by side, but after a rather horrifying incident with a pancake on the ceiling, John wasn’t allowed to be included in pancake making anymore).

“Morning,” Dean said cheerily, going forward to kiss his mom on the cheek, “Sammy not up yet?” Dean asked them both.

“No, he’s having a birthday lie in,” Mary smiled, “But I’m sure he’ll be up soon.”

“Right,” Dean nodded, happily accepting the plate of pancakes that his mother handed to him, “Thanks, mom.”

He wolfed them down, chatting with his dad about the new car that John was working on at the garage. Dean had gotten a lot of his characteristics from his mother, such as her affectionate nature and love of cooking, but Dean had definitely gotten one thing from his father. Their shared love of cars. Dean fucking loved watching cars get taken apart and put together again.

Dean stood up once he’d finished his food, “I’ll go get Cas,” he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

John guffawed, “You sure you want to do that? Won’t he tear off your head for waking him?”

“Probably,” Dean shrugged, “But he told me to wake him up for Sam so if he yells at me, I’ll happily remind him of that,” he said airily, patting John’s back as he walked by him. As Dean passed the bathroom, he could hear Sam in the shower, which meant Dean had to wake up Cas as soon as so they could all do the awkward birthday surprise in the kitchen.

Hurrying his steps, Dean opened his bedroom door, “Oh,” Dean stopped in his tracks, “Um.”

Castiel was half naked, pyjama bottoms fixed on his hips, but the expanse of Cas’ back was on display, a freckle here or there on the tanned skin that Dean had always liked. His own skin was covered in light freckles that he’d gotten from his mother; something that Cas had told him one day, when they young and Dean was feeling particularly self-conscious, were supposed to be angel kisses. Dean had always liked that idea. Not just because Cas’ name was based off an angel, though that had helped.

Seeing Cas without clothes was always distracting. Dean wasn’t a pervert though; Castiel was comfortable being around him and Dean had the fucking decency not to perve on his best friend. No one deserved that, least of all Cas. So as soon as Dean saw that Cas’ skin was on show, he looked down and focused on a speck of fluff on his carpet.

That didn’t take the imprint of Cas’ half naked body out of his mind though. It was kind of difficult to take that out there once it was in. The whole thing was fucking awkward when you loved your best friend and kind of wanted to kiss them and do all that good stuff with them. Because as soon as Dean was laying down in the dark, all alone, his mind would flit back to those images stored away even though he’d tried to burn them. Of Cas in the swimming pool, dripping wet, shorts hanging off him. Or the time during summer when it had been too damn hot so Dean and all of his friends had stripped down to their underwear because they would have died else. No one had been weird with one another, but Dean had to not look at Cas for too long else there would have been some awkward fucking boners.

In short, Dean was respectful as fuck. But he couldn’t help but sometimes have Cas’ face come up into his mind when he was in the shower jerking off.

Dean cleared his throat, “You okay?” he asked, wondering why Cas was taking so long.

“I’m borrowing a sweater,” Castiel told him without looking back, voice a little hoarse. Dean couldn’t tell whether it was his normal ‘I’ve just woken up and hate my life’ voice or it was something else.

Dean frowned, shutting the door behind him, “You’re cold?”

Castiel grabbed one of Dean’s baggier sweaters and pulled it over his head, nearly getting his arms stuck for a moment. When the sweater was finally on, he turned to look at Dean dejectedly, “My head hurts,” he complained.

Now that Castiel mentioned it, Dean realised Cas didn’t look his usual best. His eyes weren’t as bright as they normally were and the imprint of the pillow on his left cheek wasn’t helping matters much. All in all, Castiel looked miserable.

Still frowning, Dean made his way to Cas and placed the back of his hand on Cas’ cheek and forehead, “You do feel a little warm,” he admitted, though he could tell it wasn’t a heat that warranted concern. Cas had probably just caught a bug from school; during the summer, it wasn’t that common to get sick, but as soon as they were back at school and packed into classrooms like sardines, that was when the germs started to spread.

“I think I might be dying,” Castiel croaked, deadly serious.

“Okay, I definitely know you’re sick now because you’re being overdramatic again,” Dean remarked fondly, “You’ll be fine,” he reassured him, ruffling Cas’ hair which earned him a scowl; Dean bit his bottom lip, “Maybe you should go back to bed though,” he offered.

“No,” Castiel replied firmly, “it’s Sam’s birthday.”

Dean knew there was no way to get Cas back into bed, even though that was the best decision. Castiel was most definitely not going to miss Sam’s birthday by being sick, Castiel wouldn’t allow it. Sam and Castiel adored each other, another reason as to why Dean loved Cas so much. If Castiel and Sam hadn’t liked each other, if there had been problems riddled into their relationship, Dean wouldn’t have been able to be friends with Cas. Sam was a deal breaker for Dean’s friendships. Either like Sam or not have Dean as a friend. That had never been a problem with Cas though; the dude loved Sam through and through.

“Okay,” Dean agreed, “But make sure you take something for your headache,” his lips quirked into a grin, “And maybe try not to drip snot onto Sammy’s birthday present.”

Castiel didn’t smile at the joke, but he came back with a dry witted vow, “I’ll try not to.”

“That’s the spirit!” Dean encouraged, “Come on,” Dean said cheerfully, ignoring Cas’ glowering stare. Dean steered Cas into the now empty bathroom, rushing Cas to brush his teeth so they could get downstairs before Sam finished up in his bedroom.

One look at Cas when he and Dean got into the kitchen, Mary knew something was wrong; while everyone seemed to struggle to know what Cas was thinking or feeling by looking at him besides Dean, Cas’ thoughts were obvious today, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she asked, concerned, as she looked at Cas’ downtrodden face.

“Cas is sick,” Dean explained so Castiel wouldn’t have to (after brushing his teeth, he’d started dramatically complaining about how it hurt to speak), “But he’s gonna be a trooper and put on a happy face for Sam,” he turned to look at Cas, who was looking rather pitiful, “Let’s see the happy face, Cas.”

Castiel turned to look at him, a silent expressionless face.

“See,” Dean laughed, “Look how happy he is.”

Castiel shoved him weakly, “Stop it, Dean.”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded cheekily, “Love you too.”

“Oh, I think I hear Sam!” Mary mock whispered, like Sam wouldn’t know they were in the kitchen that they were _always_ in every single morning. It wasn’t that much of a surprise to the kid now was it?

After a beat, the door was opening and Sam was bashfully grinning when he peeked into the room.

And then there were cheers of happy birthday as Dean messed up Sam’s hair and gave him birthday punches that were merely taps on the forearm because Dean was too worried that he’d end up hurting him. Everyone cheered and John made jokes that Sam had gotten taller overnight (something Dean was terrified of; he was still worried that Sam was going to end up taller than him which wouldn’t be fucking _fair)_.

“Present time!” Dean sung, grabbing his and Cas’ badly wrapped present and thrusting it into Sam’s chest, “This is from me and Cas,” he told him, excited for Sam to open it up and see what was inside.

Sam shook his head to move his floppy hair out of his eyes, “Thanks,” he glowed; even though he and Dean had arguably been spoiled their entire lives, Sam still looked surprised when he was given something. Dean could only explain it by Sam being a good fucking human being and that their parents had given them a lot but shown them that they were privileged and shouldn’t always expect the best. Dean loved them for that.

“You haven’t opened it yet,” Castiel commented, leaning into Dean when he came and stood by him.

“I know I’m gonna like it, Cas,” Sam rolled his eyes, carefully opening the present so he didn’t tear the paper. The kid was a weirdo, after all.

Once the paper was carefully peeled off, Sam finally took a look at what was inside. For a moment, he was silent, “Is this an original copy?” he asked slowly, voice with a weird lilt.

“Yep, one of the first five hundred,” Dean told him proudly, chin lifting.

Sam looked lost for words, mouth opening and closing like a goldfish, “But this is-“

Dean shared a look with Cas, suddenly worried that the book hadn’t been a good idea; there was only two reasons for Sam’s despondency, either he loved the thing or he was just trying to think of a good way to lie, “Do you like it?” Dean asked, knowing he would be able to tell whether Sam did or didn’t. If he didn’t, Dean would have to sell it or something and figure out something else.

“Like it?” Sam blinked owlishly at him, “I love it!” he yelled, bouncing over the kitchen to hug Dean, “Thank you!” he screeched into Dean’s chest.

“You’re welcome,” Dean sighed in relief, squeezing his brother tightly.

Sam jumped back and gave Castiel a wide ass grin, “Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel smiled at him, features softening as he forgot for a moment that he was sick, “I’m glad you like it.”

When Sam’s attention was firmly placed on opening a present that John and Mary had given to him, Mary slid up to Dean and Cas, who were watching the present opening with small smiles, Dean’s arm wrapped around Cas in a way that was kind of propping the guy up.

“That must have cost a lot,” Mary murmured into Dean’s ear, sounding upset at the money that Dean and Cas must have spent.

Dean shrugged, “It’s for Sammy’s birthday,” he insisted; it didn’t matter how much the thing had cost, what had mattered was Sam’s awe like smile when he’d saw what it was. That sort of shit was priceless. Besides, Dean knew that Sam would treasure that book forever, it wasn’t a shitty thing that would be forgotten about in two seconds.

“You’re a good brother,” Mary smiled, kissing Dean’s hair. She looked like she wanted to give Cas a kiss on the top of his head too, but she didn’t act on it. The Winchester’s had known Cas since he was born so they knew what he liked and didn’t like. They knew he didn’t particularly enjoy people pandering to him and giving him hugs or even touching his arm or back as a nice gesture. They also knew that Cas didn’t always express everything he was feeling, and not because he was being a fucking robot like some others cruelly called it, Cas was simply being himself. Dean’s family knew all that and didn’t find it weird or odd and they kept to Cas’ wishes and didn’t do anything that they knew would make him uncomfortable. In short, Dean’s family were the fucking best.

“Can we maybe sit down now?” Castiel asked once all the presents were opening, his eyes glazed over as he slightly swayed on his feet. Everyone turned to look at him, not even blinking at the impatience of his tone.

“That sounds like a great idea,” Dean told him, gently guiding Castiel to the living room, the rest of his family following.

A mere ten minutes later and Castiel was snoring into Dean’s neck, curled up against Dean’s side after sitting down and pretty much passing out as soon as his ass hit the couch. Dean had rearranged him somewhat so he was in a better position that wouldn’t fuck up his neck as much, Cas’ head using Dean’s shoulder as a pillow as he snored and snored.

Sam stared at Cas disapprovingly, “Does Cas always snore like this?”

“Not all the time,” Dean smiled fondly, pushing back the hair off Cas’ sticky forehead absentmindedly, “But he always does when he’s sick.”

Dean didn’t even hear the snoring now, he’d gotten used to it. They pretty much always stayed over the other’s house; for years now, they had drawers in the other’s bedroom so they would have clothes each time they slept over. And ever since they were young, Castiel had been a snorer.

Sam stayed silent for a moment, watching Dean and Cas’ interaction like a hawk. Automatically, Dean set up his defences. Sam never meant to, but his sheer curiosity sometimes got him in trouble. It wasn’t Sam’s fault, he was just a naturally inquisitive kid, always eager to learn and understand new things. In actuality, it was a good thing, not a bad thing. But sometimes, every now and then, his inquisitive mind would focus on things that some people didn’t want focus upon.

Sam turned his narrowed eyes to Dean, “Are you sure you two haven’t been secretly dating for years?”

“Yes,” Dean said, clipped.

Apparently that wasn’t enough for Sam, who asked, “Really, really sure?”

“Why the hell would we even do that?” Dean retorted, because that would be the stupidest idea ever. Everyone already thought they were dating and were cool with it; it wasn’t like there were any homophobic shitheads lurking around ready to tear their life apart. Everyone was _rooting_ for them because Dean was a pathetic love sick puppy (perhaps feeling sorry for Dean was a better word than rooting; Dean had always felt uncomfortable that some people rooted for them, especially when it was clear Castiel didn’t want it). So why would they hide it away if they were truly dating?

“I don’t know, so you could sleep in the same bed when you stay over at each other’s houses?” Sam offered, “I’m pretty sure mom and dad would still let you do that even if you were dating,” he gazed over to Mary who was cleaning up the bookshelf, clearly listening to their conversation, “It’s not like we’re living in the twelfth century.”

“We’re not secretly dating, okay?” Dean told Sam for the fifty billionth time.

“That’s kind of depressing, Dean,” Sam commented unhelpfully.

“Sam,” Mary suddenly spoke, giving Sam a warning glance, “Leave it alone.”

At Mary’s tone, Sam instantly shut up. Their mother wasn’t a scary person, she was quite the opposite. But that didn’t mean that Sam and Dean ignored her when she told them off. They respected her and knew that when she was telling them to let something go, they damn sure knew they had to let it go.

Sam sent Dean an apologetic smile, a weak one albeit. Mary watched the two of them and then continued with what she was doing, murmuring something under her breath that Dean couldn’t catch.

“Anyway, it’s not depressing at all,” Dean spoke, feeling like he needed to defend his and Cas’ friendship; there had been countless times where people had said they didn’t understand how Dean could just be friends with a guy he loved so much, when it seemed so simple to Dean, “I still get to have him as my best friend. Do I wish he felt the same for me as I do for me? Course I do,” Dean’s throat clicked and he busied himself with tidying up Cas’ hair so he didn’t have to think too much about what he was saying, “But I’ll happily just have him as my best friend if that’s all he wants. It’s like with you and Jess,” Dean thought up an example, “If she’d have said she didn’t want to date you but still wanted to be your friend, you would have been okay with it and been her best friend, right?”

“Well,” Sam shuffled in his seat, not even needing to consider it, “Yeah.”

“It’s the same for me and Cas,” Dean explained simply. Because it was simple.

Sam was quiet for a moment, “But,” he hesitated, frown pulling at his facial features, “When I realised I liked Jess, for the first two weeks I didn’t say anything to her because I was worried she wouldn’t like me back. And for those two weeks, it hurt to look at her,” he bit his bottom lip, “Doesn’t it hurt you to look at Cas?”

Dean swallowed, his throat protesting as he looked down at Cas’ huddled frame. This was the guy that Dean loved completely so, the guy that he doubted he would ever _stop_ loving. The guy that Dean knew would never love him back.

“Sam,” Mary told Sam slowly, “I think that’s enough for today.”

Sam looked at Mary with wide eyes, instantly realising his mistake, “Okay,” he jumped off the couch, “I’m gonna go read some of the book you gave me,” he told Dean, mumbling, “Sorry,” as he shuffled off to his room.

Sighing, Dean rested his chin on the top of Cas’ head, hoping that nothing terrible would happen and he’d end up bawling. Crying on Sam’s birthday wouldn’t be great; besides, Dean was _okay_ with being Cas’ friend and nothing more so it really shouldn’t be upsetting him as much as he was letting it. On the whole, he was okay day to day, but when something reminded him of his adoration for his best friend, sometimes it would get a little too much.

Mary forgot about what she was doing and walked over to Dean and Cas’ entwined bodies on the couch. Dean gazed up at her, sniffing as he tightened his hold of Cas, hoping it would give him strength not to cry like a big fucking baby. At Dean’s expression, Mary’s face softened as she leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“I’m really proud of who you’ve become,” she murmured as she stood back up, placing her hand on Dean’s cheek.

“What-“ Dean blinked, “What was that for?”

Mary smiled fondly, “I just wanted to be soppy for a moment.”

Even though his face had reddened, Dean leant himself into Mary’s touch, “Love you, mom,” he mumbled, because he was never too worried about keeping up ‘manly’ appearances or whatever to not say those three words to the best mother in the world.

“I love you and your big heart too. Now,” she straightened up, “Do you want me to get anything for you because I have a feeling Cas is going to hold you hostage here for a little while,” she laughed lightly.

Dean half shrugged, using the shoulder that Castiel wasn’t using, “I’m alright,” he paused, thinking for a moment, “You think Sam’s had a good birthday?”

“Yeah, I think so,” she nodded, “It’ll be yours soon. The big eighteen,” she waggled her eyebrows dorkily.

Dean smirked, “Your kids are growing up.”

“Don’t remind me,” Mary sighed wistfully, “No, I don’t mind,” she said, almost to herself, though the next part was definitely for Dean’s benefit, “Gives me some peace and quiet,” she joked.

“Hey!” Dean cried.

“Shh,” Mary placed a finger to her smiling lips, “You’ll wake up Cas.”

Scandalised at his mother’s audacity, Dean shook his head, “That was so strategic.”

“You caught me,” she shrugged, “I’ll see you later,” she smiled, rustling Dean’s hair as she flitted off to another room.

“Later, mom,” Dean called after her. Dean looked down at Castiel who was unconsciously nuzzling his shoulder as he tried to get comfortable. Basking in it when he had chance, Dean pulled Cas tighter and figured he might as well take a nap too.


	4. Best Party Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, I'm sorry this is a day late. I was working yesterday and totally forgot to update this when I got home!

Tonight had been dubbed the best party ever. That title had also been given to every party before this one and would most likely be passed onto every single party that existed in their town in the future.

All of his friends were huddled together in a corner; come to think of it, that was always what they seemed to do in social situations. Perhaps they weren’t really cut out for these kind of things. Castiel didn’t like throngs of people; Victor preferred to people watch; Charlie would rather be at home watching something nerdy with Dean; and Dean just liked to stick with his friends. There were one or two of them that liked this scene though; Ash was in his element, partying it away, while Benny was standing next to him and wrinkling his nose at the loud music.

Seriously, why the fuck did they come to these things? They should have just had a sleepover at Charlie’s and had a movie marathon.

“Well,” Jo said dryly, “This is fun.”

Victor chuckled as Ash cheered, drunkenly thinking that Jo was being serious. That’s what alcohol did to people, folks. Dean rolled his eyes as Castiel stood up, casually forcing Dean’s hand that had been situated on his knee to drop.

“Wait,” Dean frowned, grabbing onto Cas’ wrist, “Where are you going?”

“Just to get another drink,” Castiel explained over the music; at Dean’s face, his lips perked into a small amused smile that most people would miss, “I’ll be back.”

“Right,” Dean nodded, letting go of Cas so he could go off to get another fizzy drink (Cas really loved his sugar). Dean watched him get half way into the crowd before he was stopped by someone, a girl with dark, wavy hair and a crooked smile that Dean swore looked wicked (and not in the old sense of ‘wow , you’re so wicked and cool’; nope, Dean meant _evil,_ though Dean was probably being a little biased with jealousy). She was shorter than Cas, even in her heels, so Castiel had to bend a little to listen to whatever she was saying to him.

“Wait,” the hairs on the back of Dean’s neck prickled, “Who’s that girl?”

The party was a mix of people from their school and the other school in town, so Dean only knew about half of the people in the room. This girl was one of them.

“Y’know,” Jo said, bored, as she moved the straw of her drink with her tongue, “if you were one step more of being more possessive of that guy, you’d be creepy,” she caught the straw between her lips and took a giant gulp, hiccupping.

“I’m not that possessive,” Dean crossed his arms, still staring at Cas as he interacted with the random stranger.

Victor snorted, “You are.”

Dean knew he could be, but he’d always been careful never to toe the line and make it uncomfortable or weird. Being Cas’ best friend meant Dean wanted to hold onto him and never share him around, it’s just what Cas did to him. He was so special that Dean loved him being around all the time. But that didn’t mean he was obsessively possessive in which Castiel felt like he was trapped or being manipulated into sticking with Dean over everyone else. Sure, Dean would scowl if he thought someone was trying to steal Cas away, but he would never _ever_ make Cas feel bad about something like that. Anyway, even without Dean’s scowling and moodiness, Castiel always shrugged off the person who was stupidly asking to be lab partners (not that that had happened in _years_ because they knew Dean and Cas’ relationship wasn’t anything to be meddled with) and scuttled back to Dean in a heartbeat. To be honest, even though Castiel didn’t voice it as much as Dean, Dean swore Cas was just as possessive to Dean as he was to Cas.

Thoughts were forgotten when he watched the dark haired girl take a further step towards Cas. And then Cas was taking another step to the girl and leaning in with his ear facing the girl.

The rest of his friends instantly shut up.

“Dean,” Charlie started to say, hesitating.

Before Dean even knew what he was doing, he was on his feet.

“Shit,” Jo tried to stand up and grab him, “Dean!”

Ignoring her and the rest of his friends, Dean stormed ahead until he was practically standing between Castiel and the random girl. Heart thumping in his chest, Dean felt like he might vomit or faint. This was the day that Dean had been dreading; for a while, he thought it wouldn’t happen. Castiel had never once seemed interested in having a relationship with anyone so Dean had figured he would never have to stand aside and watch it while his heart got trampled on. Yet, here it was. Right in front of his face.

“What are you doing?” Dean demanded as soon as he got there.

Perplexed with what was suddenly transpiring, Castiel blinked up at him, looking very much like a startled owl, “What?”

“Clarence,” the girl’s voice dripped, “Who’s this?”

Castiel, completely unaware for the time being that he had royally upset Dean, started to say, “Dean, my-“ he turned to look at Dean, halting to a sudden stop when he saw the look on Dean’s face.

The stranger looked between the two of them, narrowing her eyes as she came to her own conclusion, “Shit, is he your boyfriend? You could have just said so,” she poked Cas in the ribs, who wasn’t paying her any attention anymore, gaze fixed on Dean.

“Whatever, I’ll leave you two to have your lovers tiff,” the girl rolled her eyes, swishing her hair as she sauntered off to find her next victim.

Castiel couldn’t stop looking at Dean, “I don’t understand,” he said, “Why are you upset?”

“Look, okay, I get it,” Dean spoke, hating the way his voice cracked, “You don’t feel the same way but I never thought that you would do that in front of me. I thought you would have some fucking decency not to shove you flirting with someone else down my throat,” he stormed, because that was the problem, wasn’t it? It wasn’t just the fact that Castiel was flirting with someone, it was that Castiel had the audacity to do it right in front of Dean when he knew Dean’s feelings. That wasn’t what a best friend did to the other.

Castiel still looked utterly confused, brows and forehead wrinkling as he tried to catch up, “I wasn’t flirting with her,” he fixated on that part of Dean’s speech.

“You-“ Dean froze, “You wasn’t?”

“No,” Castiel shook his head, “She was talking to me about whether I’d fallen from heaven but I told her I was getting a drink and that I needed to get back to my friends. I had to move closer though, because she couldn’t hear what I was saying,” Castiel explained; anything other time, Dean would find it endearing that Castiel hadn’t noticed the girl’s blatant flirting. But Dean was too upset and fucked up to find anything amusing right now.

“What do you mean, don’t feel the same way?” Castiel asked, pushing the conversation now that he’d had a moment to finally realised what Dean had said, “I don’t understand-“

“Stop acting dumb, Cas. You never do that,” Dean snapped; whether it was the adrenaline from what had just happened, or it was because Dean had finally realised that they actually needed to _talk_ about this instead of tiptoeing around it, Dean wasn’t sure, but he’d had enough, “I know we don’t talk about it, but right now we need to. I always thought that pretending it wasn’t there was better but clearly we need to fucking talk about it so we can figure out how to handle this shit without hurting each other. Because I guess you can tell that the thought of you flirting with someone right in front of my face would-“ he faltered, voice giving way again, “It would upset me,” his voice shook, “And I know it’s not your fault that I love you but-“

“It’s not my fault that you what?” Castiel interrupted.

“That I love-“ Dean started to repeat it, assuming that the loud music was making it difficult for Castiel to hear him. He stopped when he saw Cas’ expression. That wasn’t the face of someone who had known his best friend was in love with him for years and they’d kept a mutual silence over it for their sake. That was the expression of someone who had no clue.

Castiel hadn’t known about Dean’s feelings.

“You-“ Dean stumbled on his words at the realisation, “You didn’t know?”

Castiel’s mouth parted to hang open, flabbergast in his eyes, “You-“ he struggled to even say the words, “You love me,” he said, not a question this time.

“I thought that you knew-“ Dean said, voice small as he curled his body inwardly on the defence.

“Dean,” Castiel started to say.

But Dean did the only the thing he knew he could. He ran away. Ignoring the shout from Cas and the calls from his friends, Dean rushed out of the house, shoving past drunkards and partygoers until he was out in the fresh air. But it wasn’t far enough away from everything, from Cas. Taking gulps of oxygen, Dean quickened his speed as he walked across the messy lawn, strides turning into a jog, then to a run, and then finally to a sprint as he tried to chase away his problems. The speed made the tears forming in his eyes dry quickly on his cheeks, barely running to his chin before they were washed away.

When Dean thought about it, knees tucked up to his chin as he sat in the darkness, it wasn’t surprising that his legs had taken him to this place. Away from home, it was the place that he felt the safest. And it was probably going to be the last time he ever came here. Because he wasn’t going to be able to come back when everything was turned to shit and he’d have to be here alone with a Cas shaped hole next to him.

Dean wasn’t sure of how long it took him to stop crying, a few minutes maybe, or even an hour. But what he was surprised about was when he heard the light footsteps on the wooden staircase. Castiel was here.

Dean stayed where he was, sitting with his back against the wall and on the rug they’d lugged here years ago. He didn’t speak, nor look up, when he saw Castiel enter the room in the corner of the room.

“I thought you might be here,” Castiel said, staying silent for a moment, like he was expecting Dean to speak. When that didn’t happen, Castiel spoke again, offering, “It’s dangerous to be here alone in the dark.”

Dean kept quiet, too afraid to even look up at Castiel. He was terrified as to what he would find on the boy’s face, of the boy he had loved since they had been in cots next to each other in the hospital. Because this changed everything. This couldn’t be fixed, not now. In one night, Dean had ruined their friendship forever.

“I left the party after you did,” Castiel continued to talk; Dean could hear the slight waver in his voice, making Dean wish he could jump up and hug the guy and never let go, though he knew Cas wouldn’t want that from him, not anymore, “I- I called Gabriel,” Castiel said, “And spoke to him for a little while. I was-“ he sighed, “Everything was confusing.”

Again, Dean didn’t speak.

“Dean?” Castiel asked quietly, voice faint.

Garnering some fucking courage from somewhere deep within, Dean finally lifted his chin and looked at Castiel. Castiel, who looked fucking _small_ as he stood in the doorway, most of him hidden in the darkness. But even in the shadows, Dean could see the worry and doubt on Cas’ features.

Just looking at Cas for those mere seconds, was enough for everything to get too much for Dean. And then it all flooded out, “Please don’t hate me. Please. I can’t- I can’t lose you,” Dean begged, literally going to his knees, “I won’t- I won’t talk about it, can we go back to before?” Cas’ face blurred as Dean’s eyes filled with tears, “Just pretend you don’t know so we can be friends. I don’t- Please don’t make me lose you.”

For the first time in a long, long time, all of Cas’ emotions were expressed on his face as clear as day. He didn’t look angry, he didn’t look like resentful. All in all, his features were carved into _hurt._

Cas took the few steps to meet Dean and knelt down in front of him, ” _Dean_. I could never hate you. Never,” he promised, delicately placing his hands on the crevice between Dean’s shoulders and neck; it was a rarity for Cas to initiate contact, which made Dean kind of terrified as to what was about to happen, “You’re my best friend. And you always will be no matter what,” Castiel caught Dean’s gaze, locking their eyes together, “I can’t hate you when I love you so much, Dean. You know that.”

“I-“ Dean hiccupped, his breath gasping unattractively, “I know you do.”

Castiel smiled thinly, “I don’t think you do, Dean.”

“No, I- I do,” Dean argued desperately; he didn’t want Cas to think that Dean didn’t know that Cas cared about him, saw him as his best friend. If someone had told Dean that he didn’t care about Cas like he said he did, it would be a kick in the fucking teeth. So he definitely didn’t want Cas to think Dean thought that about him. Not after everything else that was happening between them. He didn’t want to give Cas another excuse to hate him.

“I just- I’d get it,” Dean smiled weakly, heart bumping rapidly against his chest as a constant reminder that everything had turned to shit, “I’d get it if finding out about this made you- made you not want to be my friend. Or- Or maybe love me less. I just-“

“You know me, Dean,” Castiel interrupted him, saving Dean from embarrassing himself further, “You know everything about me,” Cas continued, wiping at Dean’s cheeks with the pad of his thumb to catch the falling tears, “You know I prefer to be alone; that if I could choose it, I would live in solitude for most of my life with a good book or television show. Or just silence. And you know I don’t much like it when people touch me. That’s just who I am,” he shrugged unapologetically; he had long since learned that he never had to change that about himself, nor feel like he should be sorry that that was the way he was.

“And,” Cas’ tongue darted out to wet his pink lips, hesitating for a moment, “I’ve never understood why everything was different when it came to you.”

Dean’s breath caught as he listened to the words. This wasn’t what he’d been expecting. He thought there was going to be a break of friendship, or at least awkwardness as Castiel shut him down. But Castiel wasn’t doing that; instead, he was cupping Dean’s cheeks and telling him how special he was. This was not what was supposed to happen.

“I always love your company. Even when I want to be alone from everyone, that never means I want to be alone from you,” Castiel spoke, voice quiet, “And even though I flinch and brush people off if they try to touch me, I don’t do the same for you. I like it when you hug me and hold my hand sometimes and when we share a bed and you sometimes hold me in your sleep,” he murmured as Dean’s heart stopped; he’d never thought Cas had known about that. Dean had always thought he’d been so _careful_ in untangling the two of them before Cas would wake up. Yet, all along, Castiel had _known._

“All of my rules aren’t the same for you,” Castiel said, gaze lowering to Dean’s mouth; Dean couldn’t tell whether he was doing it because he couldn’t look Dean in the eye as he spoke or not, “They’re the total opposite. And I never really thought about it all that much. Or tried to understand it. But when you told me that you loved me at the party, everything made sense,” he took a shaky breath in and out, his breath fading away onto Dean’s lips, making Dean realise how close they were to each other. It made Dean suddenly hyper aware of their closeness, of how Cas’ hands had somehow snaked up to cup Dean’s cheeks at some point during the conversation. But none of it prepared Dean for what was coming next.

“You know me Dean, everything about me, except perhaps the most important part,” Castiel smiled sadly, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean froze, “What are you-“

Castiel pressed their foreheads together, hands still delicately holding Dean’s jaw, thumbs smoothing the skin of his cheekbones, “I love you,” he told him, voice untraditionally shaky for Castiel, “Just as I think you love me,” he stated.

“Wh-“ Dean struggled for words, for oxygen, for _everything,_ “What?”

“Dean,” Castiel murmured against Dean’s mouth, the movement of Cas’ lips grazing against Dean’s which made Dean catch his breath. Castiel tilted his head to the side, nose nudging Dean’s as his bottom lip caught Dean’s barely for a second.

“Cas,” Dean whispered.

“Can you kiss me please?” Castiel asked, voice so quiet Dean could hardly hear him.

And then they were kissing. Their lips pressed together, Cas’ bottom lip clasped between Dean’s two lips, Dean’s way of somehow protecting him even in a kiss. The kiss was gentle, simple even if there were onlookers to describe it. But to Dean it was anything but simple. This was _everything._ It was like fireworks. And winning the lottery. And finding out there was one last slice of pie when they were supposed to be all gone. This was Christmas and new year’s and birthdays all rolled into one. This was _everything._

After a few seconds that felt like hours to Dean, that felt like an eternity he wanted to wrap himself in, their lips broke free from each other, making a noise as Dean’s lips left Cas’ chapped ones. Dean took a shaky breath in and out, a broken exhale onto Cas’ mouth as he opened his eyes.

Castiel looked just as surprised as Dean, mouth still parted, eyes wide as he roamed his eyes over Dean’s face. And Dean couldn’t help it. He laughed. A short giggle of disbelief that he had Cas in his arms, his mouth mere centimetres away. Castiel _loved_ him.

Dean didn’t even know what to say, was unsure whether he could even speak right now. This was unfamiliar territory and didn’t even make sense. Seriously, this shit did _not_ make sense. And it never would.

Without words, Dean nudged their noses together again, scratching the base of Cas’ neck lightly as he nuzzled theirs noses in a way that showed how he was feeling. Even though Dean didn’t even know _what_ he was feeling right now.

Castiel’s hand fell to instead grip onto Dean’s t-shirt, holding it in his fists tightly, “We should perhaps go home,” he licked his lips, gaze on Dean’s own, “It’s cold here,” he shivered under Dean’s touch, goosebumps featuring across his skin that wasn’t just because of their kiss.

It took Dean a moment to finally get his mouth to work properly, and even then he sounded like an idiot, “O-Okay. Um,” he managed to smile wryly, “Maybe kiss me again first.”

The fondness on Cas’ face when he leant forward yet again told Dean that everything was going to be alright.

 

* * *

 

Like most mornings, Dean woke up tangled with Cas’ arms and legs. Unlike any other morning _ever,_ Dean realised he didn’t have to separate them before Castiel woke up.

Today was going to be a good fucking day.

“Hey,” Dean mumbled; he knew waking Cas up instead of letting him slowly drift into reality was a bad idea, but Dean couldn’t wait until Castiel woke up naturally. He needed him to be conscious so Dean could find out whether last night had been some weird induced dream of Dean’s.

Castiel groaned, not cracking his eyes open, “Shh,” he told Dean.

“Cas,” Dean murmured.

“Dean, shush,” Castiel complained; he moved forward, hand blindly coming up to seek Dean’s mouth, Cas’ fingers splayed onto Dean’s lips before they were replaced with Cas’ mouth. Dean accepted the kiss hungrily, humming happily even when Castiel stopped it and buried his face in Dean’s chest.

So, not a dream then.

It took another hour before Castiel was ready to get out of bed. Unlike other days, leaving the bed was also delayed by Dean constantly kissing Cas and not knowing how or when to stop. Finally though, finally, they found their way into the bathroom.

“My phone has, like, fifty unread messaged and missed calls. They’ve all been texting me like crazy,” Dean frowned down at his phone, “I guess I did kind of run off and ignore everyone.”

“Hm,” Castiel made a noise to acknowledge Dean had spoken.

“Should I tell them about us or just say I’m okay?” Dean asked aloud, “I’ll just text them that I’m okay and we’re fine for now,” he decided, quickly sending off a group text before stuffing the toothbrush into his mouth.

“I wonder what everyone will think when they find out we’re dating,” Castiel said as he watched Dean brush his teeth, a picture of domesticity if Dean had ever seen one.

“They’ll be happy,” Dean told Cas; he hadn’t yet told Castiel that everyone had known about Dean’s pining. He wasn’t sure how Cas would feel when everyone had known about it except him. It wasn’t like Dean had purposely kept him in the dark; he’d assumed the guy had already known and they’d made a mutual silent decision never to bring it up.

“Maybe we shouldn’t tell anyone for a while? Just see how it goes first?” Dean offered around his toothbrush.

“If that’s what you want,” Castiel shrugged in a way that indicated he didn’t give a shit whether they told people or not.

“Yeah,” Dean decided, “Okay.”

It might be the best thing to do. Keep it quiet for a little while until Dean and Cas had gotten used to the new change in their relationship. Because it was a change. A really big fucking change. Honestly, Dean was still thinking that he’d dropped into some bizarre parallel world. Because this was _insane._

“Now come on, let’s go eat,” Castiel said, waiting for Dean to spit out the toothpaste before leading them downstairs. All of the family were situated in the living room, having already eaten their breakfast. Dean and Cas left them to it at first, each grabbing a slice of cold toast as Dean made them both coffee. They ate in silence, whilst Dean grinned dopily and kicked Cas’ feet gently under the table. Of course, Castiel didn’t understand what Dean was trying to do and told him to stop it with a rather tough kick to Dean’s shin.

Once they were eaten, Dean led them to the sitting room, hand in hand, which probably wasn’t the most subtle thing. But because Dean was always affectionate anyway, none of his family really blinked at the fact he dragged Cas onto the couch by his hand. It wasn’t often that Dean held Cas’ hand, but apparently it was often enough for none of his family to find it weird.

“Sorry we missed breakfast,” Dean offered as he pulled Castiel closer to him, so much so that one of Cas’ feet was resting on Dean’s thigh, his knees tucked up into his chin as he leant against Dean’s side.

“It’s okay honey. You never get up for breakfast after one of your parties,” Mary said fondly.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded, playing with Cas’ hair as everyone turned engrossed into the television show yet again. Everyone except for Sam.

“You two seem very happy this morning,” he scrutinised Dean and Cas.

“It was a good party,” Dean shrugged. And then the rest of his family was staring at the two of them. Castiel shuffled closer to Dean under their gaze, subconsciously telling Dean to deal with it and fast. Castiel didn’t much like to be the centre of attention.

Sam frowned, “Really? Are you sure nothing else is going on?”

“Like what?” Dean counteracted with a narrow of his eyes.

Mary looked at the two of them suspiciously, “Cas is far too chirpy to have just woken up,” she realised.

Castiel scowled at that, but then his lips were quirking up again when he looked at Dean. Apparently their good mood from last night was infectious and wasn’t to be put to a stop anytime soon.

“Exactly!” Sam said loudly, very much like a fucking foghorn, “It’s weird.”

John and Mary murmured their agreement, whilst Dean’s cheeks got redder and redder and Castiel squirmed.

John shut the newspaper he was holding and asked, authority in his tone that only parents knew how to do, “What’s going on, boys?”

“Cas and I are dating!” Dean blurted out.

“ _Dean_ ,” Castiel stared at him with wide, blue eyes.

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Dean babbled weakly, “I just- it kind of came out.”

Castiel’s features softened, “It’s okay. I told you, I didn’t mind either way.”

Dean sighed in relief, happy he hadn’t fucked up when they hadn’t even been dating for twenty four fucking hours yet.

But then they had to deal with all of Dean’s family staring at them, wide eyes, jaws hanging open unattractively. And then Sam started hysterically laughing, falling off the couch as he wheezed. Mary was blinking at them, eyebrows raising and raising. John looked surprised, but he was doing a good job of hiding it.

“Um,” Dean mumbled.

Mary sat forward on her seat, “Have you told your parents yet?”

“No?” Castiel replied like it was a question, giving Dean a silent look to ask what the hell was going on. Castiel couldn’t understand why Dean’s family would be reacting so enthusiastically.

“Oh, I have to call them!” Mary stood up, practically hopping from one foot to the other, “You don’t mind if I call?”

“I-” Castiel paused, nodding, “You can call them.”

“This is so exciting!” Mary squealed, rushing off to find her phone.

“Happy for you two,” John nodded at the two of them, following Mary out of the room for some reason. Maybe he wanted to watch his wife go ape on the phone about two boys dating. It would probably be an amusing sight, Dean thought.

Sam folded his arms, eyes wide under his floppy hair, “So you really weren’t dating all this time?”

“No,” Dean pulled a face, “I did tell you that.”

“Yeah, I guess you did,” Sam thought about it, “Anyway, I’m gonna go text Jo. We’ve had a bet on for ages and I think this means I won,” he grinned cheerily, scurrying off before Dean could either hit him with a cushion or yell at him. Dean would get him back later for sure. And Jo too. Hell, he was going to get _all_ of them back.

Now that it was just the two of them, Dean bit his bottom lip. His family’s reaction, while not over the top, was a little bit out there. The last thing Dean wanted was for Cas to somehow feel like he was pressured, or feel bad that it had taken this long for them to start dating. He didn’t want Cas to feel anything but pleased about their budding relationship.

“I didn’t realise people were so invested in this,” Castiel said, hesitation in his voice, “In us.”

“I mean,” Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously, “Everyone kind of knew how much I loved you,” he mumbled, cheeks heating up again, “It wasn’t like I talked about it all the time or anything,” he backtracked; he didn’t want Cas to think that Dean had constantly been talking about it like an obsessed stalker, “But it was just blindingly obvious to everyone,” he shrugged.

Castiel’s left eyebrow raised as he said dryly, “Except to me.”

“Yeah. I guess I should have thought more about how you don’t really get social interactions and all that shit and how it wouldn’t be clear to you unless I just got up and planted a kiss on you,” he thought aloud, realising how dumb he’d been, “If I’d have figured that out, we would have been doing this a whole lot sooner.”

“Perhaps,” Castiel smirked, nudging his nose against Dean’s cheek. Dean tilted his head to kiss the corner of Cas’ mouth, smiling into it like the lovesick puppy that he was.

“I guess everyone is gonna be excited that we’re together, especially when everyone never really thought this was gonna happen because they didn’t think you liked me that way. So yeah, people are gonna be excited for us. But,” Dean told him, knowing that this was important, “If you ever feel like it’s too much pressure, just tell me. And I’ll tell everyone to shut the hell up and leave us alone, okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel agreed, “But I don’t think that will be necessary. You know I don’t particularly care what anyone thinks for the most part, Dean.”

“Yeah, but this is gonna be about you and me. It’s different,” Dean played with Cas’ hair absentmindedly, “People are gonna want us to work out and I don’t want you to think too much about it and then think you _have_ to be with me because everyone else wants you to,” he bit his bottom lip again, fiddling with a loose bit of skin there as spoke his worries aloud, “That’s why I never let anyone talk about it with you before, when I thought you already knew. And why I never spoke about it with you. Because I didn’t want to make it awkward and I didn’t want you to feel pressured into a relationship because everyone else was rooting for it.”

“Dean,” Castiel shushed him soothingly, “Breathe.”

“Shit, sorry,” Dean smiled apologetically, “I guess I’m just a little, um, overwhelmed. And I don’t want anything to ruin it.”

_Oh god_ , Dean didn’t want anything to ruin it.

“It won’t,” Castiel promised, “Have a little faith in us.”

“Right.” Dean nodded, “Yeah, I do. I know that no matter what you’re always gonna be my best friend,” he smiled.

Castiel clasped Dean’s face with his hands, “And you will always be mine,” he vowed.

 

 

 


	5. Home Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is the last chapter! Hope you all enjoy it.

“So,” Mary said over the dishes, Dean opting to dry them off while she cleaned them, “Later, you and Cas are going to have the house to yourselves for a while.”

“Yeah,” Dean said slowly, wondering where she was going with this. Even if the words weren’t particularly suggestive and knowing, her tone of voice was.

“I know whatever you get up to, you’ll be responsible,” she said carefully.

“Oh geez, mom,” Dean pulled a face, cheeks heating up in a matter of seconds, “You don’t need to give me the sex talk again. You already did that, remember?”

“I know we did,” Mary nodded, handing him a plate, “And the only reason we did it that early was because we thought you and Cas were dating and we wanted to make sure you knew what a condom was before you went off somewhere to do god knows what.”

Dean sighed glumly, “I think everyone who knows me and Cas thought we were dating at some point,” he said, kind of hating that. Every time he thought about it, it just made him a little bit depressed. To everyone, it had been obvious except to the person who mattered the most. Dean had a lot of ‘what if’ scenarios in his head. What if he’d just bit the bullet and asked Cas out years ago? What if someone else had mentioned Dean’s feelings to Cas, who would have then been forced into thinking about his own? What if Dean and Cas hadn’t been totally inept people and just gotten together years ago?

“I remember when you two were kids,” Mary reminisced, “You were inseparable. For a time I thought you were going to drift apart when you got older,” she looked at Dean, almost apologetically for suggesting such a thing, “You’re both so different, always have been,” Dean couldn’t argue with that one, “But I think that’s what makes you two work so well. You both compliment the other.”

“You think so?” Dean found himself grinning.

“Yes,” Mary smiled back, “Castiel was always so difficult to read, even when he was a little boy. But you, you could just glance at him for one second and straight away, you knew what he was thinking. You knew whether he was upset or happy, even when the rest of us couldn’t tell,” she huffed at the memory, “I should have known then that there was nothing that was going to tear you two apart. And you obviously love each other. I’ve just started to notice how Cas shows it. He does it in the little things and boy, does he love you. And you love him too.”

“Yeah,” Dean said, unable to say anymore words because his throat was getting pathetically scratchy.

“I know you do honey,” she ruffled Dean’s hair, leaving soap suds in it, “Enjoy your time alone, okay?”

“Okay,” Dean looked down at the bowl instead of having to look at his mother when he talked about having sex, “We’re probably just gonna watch a movie or something, anyway. I don’t know whether Cas likes that sort of- Um,” Dean shrugged, deciding to finish that sentence right there and then, “But we’ll have fun.”

“I’m sure you will,” Mary said knowingly.

 

* * *

 

“So,” Dean pulled Cas in closer by the belt loops of his jeans, “I was thinking a movie and a pizza. We can order from your favourite pizza place if you want, get your favourite,” he offered with a gentle kiss to the mouth.

“Oh,” Castiel muttered, “Okay.”

“Why, did you have something else in mind?” Dean raised an eyebrow, amused at Cas’ reaction. This wasn’t the usual Castiel who would most likely commit low key murder for a good pizza and burger. Something was definitely up if Castiel wasn’t demanding Dean to purchase the pizza right _now._

“I wanted to have sex,” Castiel announced matter-of-factly.

Dean spluttered and then spluttered some more. Okay, definitely not what he’d been expecting.

Castiel took Dean’s hand into his own, looking concerned, “Are you okay, Dean?

“Yeah, I’m-“ Dean wheezed, “I’m fine.”

A small wrinkle formed between Castiel’s eyebrows, which meant he was feeling far more self-conscious than he dare show, “Do you not want to do that?”

“No, I- I do,” he backtracked hesitantly, “I just didn’t know whether you would want to.”

For all of their lives, Castiel hadn’t liked people touching him. Sure, Dean had been the exception to that rule, it seemed, but kissing and holding hands was very different than having _sex._ Castiel had always squirmed when sex scenes had come up on television shows and movies they’d watched. He would always wrinkle his nose like it was some dirty thing that he never wanted to consider. If Dean had ever considered that he and Cas would ever actually date, he would have figured that sex wouldn’t be an option for them. Yet here Cas was, completely going against that.

“I want to,” Castiel replied, mouth parting as an invitation for Dean to kiss him.

“Oh,” Dean murmured, pressing forward to kiss Cas on the lips, gently nibbling on Cas’ bottom lip.

“Let’s go upstairs,” Castiel said against Dean’s lips.

“Okay,” Dean nodded, because that idea sounded very fucking good right about now.

Hand in hand, they practically ran upstairs, rushing to Dean’s bed. Castiel didn’t have any shoes to toe off, just his bee socks on his feet, so he bounced onto the bed, relaxing himself while Dean kicked off his shoes.

Knowing that he would epically fail at trying to sexily get onto the bed, Dean just threw himself on there, crawling up to Cas so he could kiss him heatedly on the mouth. Kissing Castiel was one of the best things that life had given him. Often over the years had Dean imagined what it would be like. And he hadn’t been far wrong; the scrape of Cas’ chapped lips against his, the soft shaky breaths from deep in Cas’ lungs, the way Castiel would grip onto Dean’s t-shirt or hair and not let go even when they’d broken free to breathe. But there was the feeling behind them that Dean could never have considered. He always knew it would be special if he ever got the chance, but he hadn’t known how special it would be. He couldn’t even put it into fucking words how kissing Cas made him want to explode into the stars that he was made of. But that’s exactly how it made him feel.

Castiel kissed Dean just as passionately as Dean kissed him. While Castiel rarely showed it, Dean knew how affectionate Castiel could be. How needy he was sometimes to have Dean hold him close. This was definitely one of those times.

“Take this off,” Dean managed to gasp between kisses, tugging at Cas’ sweater. Castiel halted their kiss, staring at Dean.

“We don’t have to,” Dean soothed, thinking that Castiel had already changed his mind. Which would be okay. Dean would order that pizza and they’d cuddle while watching a movie, Dean didn’t mind so long as Cas was by his side.

“No,” Castiel shook his head, clearly determined, “I want to. I want to at least try it. Everything is different with you. I- I like it when you touch me,” he admitted.

“Okay,” Dean kissed the top of Cas’ head, gently holding onto the bottom of Cas’ sweater and tugging it upwards. Calmly, Castiel let him, raising his arms so Dean could pull the ugly thing off him without too much trouble. The sweater was thrown aside, Dean’s fingertips gliding over Cas’ tanned chest.

“It’s weird,” Dean commented as he let his fingers trail down Cas’ chest and stomach to the coarse hairs leading from his belly button.

“What is?” Castiel peered down at his own torso, frowning as he tried to understand what Dean was talking about.

“It’s weird that I can touch you like this now,” Dean said, fingers grazing back up to play with Cas’ nipple. The reaction was instant, Castiel’s frown smoothed out as he groaned.

“You like that, huh?” Dean asked, finding himself grinning toothily.

“I-“ Castiel seemed surprised at his own reaction, “Yes,” he nodded, face already flushed.

“Huh,” Dean hummed, shucking off his own shirt before hooking his leg over Cas’ hips so he could straddle Cas. They hadn’t done this before, being half naked as they made out. Sometimes Dean was topless because he got warm in bed with a fluffy pyjama wearing Castiel next to him and a thick comforter because Castiel got cold. But it had never been like this. And Dean was kind of fucking loving it.

“Take-“ Castiel grabbed onto Dean’s shirt, bunching it in his grip as he pulled on the fabric, “Take it off. Please, Dean.”

“Okay, okay,” Dean rolled his eyes at Cas’ impatience; they’d barely been at it for a minute and Cas was already ordering him around (not that Dean didn’t like it per say). With Cas’ helping hands, Dean’s t-shirt was off and thrown off the bed somewhere onto Dean’s floor. He’d have to clean it up later; he hated having a dirty room, but right now, he didn’t give a flying fuck.

Once Dean’s bare skin was exposed, Castiel’s hand roamed over it, like he hadn’t saw Dean’s torso before. Dean supposed that in a way, he hadn’t. Before, they’d been friends. Now, they were something more. Seeing each other’s bare skin meant something different now, something far more intimate.

“I love your freckles,” Castiel mumbled.

Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes and blush like a little kid, “I know you do.”

“Angel’s kisses,” Castiel repeated the words from years ago, making Dean huff.

“I only want one angel to kiss me,” Dean remarked, leaning down to kiss Cas on the lips to prove his point. The kiss was far more forceful than the usual ones they did, besides the few times they’d had epic make out sessions, lips spit slick and swollen as they’d nipped and bit. Today’s kiss was different because they both knew it was leading somewhere.

Truthfully, Dean didn’t really know what the fuck they were doing. They were just kids. And both of them were virgins who hadn’t even kissed anyone else. Okay, Dean knew for the most part how everything worked, he’d watched some porn videos, one time even watching it with Cas who had been intrigued by it (but had turned it off within the first thirty seconds). They were naïve. But Dean knew they would learn all about it together in the best way possible.

For a while, they just kissed. A Simple back and forth as their hands explored each other’s bare skin. But after a while, kissing wasn’t enough for either of them. They were getting impatient. But that didn’t mean they wanted to hurry and rush through everything, Their first time deserved to be taken slowly.

Lips wet with spit, Dean nuzzled Cas’ neck, sucking on the skin to leave a hickey. He made sure to place one on the skin of Cas’ shoulder so he’d be able to hide it. Gabriel, Sam, and their friends would never let them hear the end of it if they spotted a hickey on Cas.

While he kissed along Cas’ collarbone, he played with Cas’ nipple, rubbing at the nub with his thumb.

“Dean,” Castiel wriggled underneath him.

“Hmm?” Dean hummed

“Can we? Can you-“ Castiel tried to speak, though he was having difficulty, breath getting harsher and harsher, alongside Dean’s.

Dean looked up at Cas through his eyelashes, crawling back up so he could peck Cas on the mouth, “What do you want, baby?” Dean used the pet name that had suddenly became a general term in his vocabulary nowadays. He didn’t know how it had gotten there, it had just slipped out once when Cas had been looking particularly cute. And now that it was there, especially with the way Castiel reacted to it, Dean wasn’t going to get rid of it anytime soon.

“I-“ Castiel’s face flushed, so unheard of for him, “I want these off,” he murmured, straight to the point but sounding nervous as he pulled on Dean’s jeans.

“We can do that,” Dean said coyly, sitting up before moving off Cas so he could pull off the jeans. Castiel watched him with wide, piercing eyes. And then he was taking his jeans off too, wriggling out of them messily and totally endearingly.

When Dean went to straddle him again, Castiel halted him with a hand to his chest.

“What?” Dean asked, mouth curling into a frown.

“I want us to be naked,” he explained; slowly his nerves were dissipating. He was getting more confident with the situation, Dean realised, or he was figuring that he was here with _Dean_ and he didn’t need to worry about anything.

Dean’s cheeks reddened in anticipation rather than embarrassment as he nodded, just once, before he started to peel off his boxers. After a beat, Castiel did the same, pulling his off with certainty.

Dean’s cock was already starting to curve upwards due to the sheer thought of what was about to happen. Castiel’s was too. Darker and coarser hair covered the base of Cas’ dick compared to Dean’s. And Cas’ cock was longer too, while Dean’s was thicker. Cas’ hipbones were sharp, even though he had meat on his bones, strong thighs and a defined stomach and V shape heading towards his cock. Like Dean, there was a beginning of a flush on Cas’ shoulders and chest, reminding Dean of how excited they both were for this. How they both _wanted_ it.

“You’re beautiful,” Dean marvelled aloud with wide eyes. It was never something that he thought would be otherwise, but still, Cas was fucking _beautiful._

“Dean,” Castiel mumbled, “Come here please.”

Eagerly, Dean went back to straddling Cas, covering Cas’ body with his own almost in a protective way. The positioning forced their cocks to be pressed together, making Dean’s heart stutter.

“Do you want me to-?” Dean started to ask, wrapping a hand around their cocks. There was precome smeared onto the tip of his cock; when he swiped at the head of Cas’, he realised he had the same. Dean doubted that either of them were going to last long.

“Ye-“ Castiel gasped, nodding feverishly, “Yes. Please, Dean.”

Dean settled down so he could kiss Cas, going back and forth between doing that and watching their cocks slide together in his hand. It was difficult to hold them both on his grip, but he did his best, hand slipping as he moved it forward and back, causing a friction between them. To make it better, Dean slowly rocked his hips, sliding his rapidly hardening cock against Cas’.

“Oh fuck,” Dean gasped at the friction, at the sight of their cocks sliding against each other wetly.

“Dean,” Castiel’s head tipped back, “Don’t- Don’t stop,” he begged, pushing his hand between the two of them so he could wrap his hand around their cocks too, filling the gap that Dean couldn’t with just one hand, “That feels- _Dean_ \- That feels good.”

Dean nodded, seeking Cas’ mouth to kiss him hotly on the mouth, tongues doing their best to entwine as he continued to rock his hips. Castiel gasped into his mouth, lost for breath for a moment, not unlike Dean, as they both got closer and closer.

Dean swiped at the precome gathering at the head of Cas’ cock again, using it to lubricate their cocks together to give it an easier slide. Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean, pulling them tighter together as Dean’s gentle rocks became more and more hurried and uneven.

“Feel good, baby?” Dean asked against Cas’ mouth.

“Yes,” Cas nodded, squeezing Dean’s forearm painfully, legs pressuring Dean’s waist where they were wrapped around, “ _Fuck_.”

And hearing Cas swear with a broken, spent voice? Fuck, Dean might as well have turned to jello. The need deep in the pit of his belly rolled over into something more, cock spurting come onto his and Cas’ hand, spreading across their stomachs. Dean buried his face in Cas’ neck, biting down into the skin as the orgasm came over him in rivulets. With a sharp gasp, Castiel was coming too, nails snaking down Dean’s back where he held on as he shook.

“Shh, Cas,” Dean mumbled into Cas’ neck, “You’re okay, I’ve got you.” 

Castiel whimpered, holding onto Dean tightly as his breath came back to him. Like Dean had expected, they hadn’t lasted nearly as long as he’d hoped for, but for their first time? It had been perfect.

Dean dropped onto Cas with a sigh, resting his head on Cas’ chest whilst he tangled their legs together, uncaring of the come on their stomachs that was sticking them together. Dean didn’t really give a fuck about that or about the stickiness on his fingers.

“We should do that again,” Castiel said.

Dean snorted into Cas’ chest, “God Cas, I know we’re teenagers, but even _we_ have to have _some_ recovery time.”

The concept of doing that with Cas again was an entirely good one that Dean wished he could do over and over again. But at this very minute? No, Dean was going to need a moment or two.

“I am tired,” Castiel admitted, adding a yawn for further proof.

Dean nuzzled Cas’ chest in reply, huffing when Castiel dragged him up so their mouths were pressed together. Since they had established their relationship, Castiel had slowly but surely started to initiate contact between the two of them. For the most part, he still waited for Dean to start it, reacting to Dean’s touch or offer of a kiss. But Castiel was learning that he could be the one who reached forward and took control of the affections once or twice. It was a learning curve, for the both of them.

Dean nuzzled their noses together, ignoring the sheen of sweat on either of their skins because, even in the circumstances, it was kinda gross, “I really fucking love you,” he mumbled against Cas’ mouth.

Castiel smiled a rare gummy smile, rarer than a blue moon and finding gold dust, “I really love you too,” he replied, fingertips digging into Dean’s back as he pulled him tightly next to him. Dean snuggled against him, one hand coming up to caress Cas’ sticky cheek as he got himself comfortable on Cas’ chest. It was a perfect moment, holding onto each other as they-

Castiel grumbled, “Now let me go to sleep.”

 _A perfect moment indeed_ , Dean thought.

 


End file.
